"How was cardio?" Mike asked. We had just finished hammering legs immediately before but I have a little extra fat to burn, so I challenged the step-mill to a battle. Mike was really asking, "How bad did it suck?" The expected response: "Brutal" But it wasn't. With a masochistic grin, I replied, "Awesome bro!"
The Step Mill. Is the medieval torture device where steps appear that you have to climb, but you don't ever get anywhere. I'm not going to pretend its fun. But I'll tell you why it's awesome. You start at a level 10-12. It feels slow and easy. You're moving at a slow pace. You go for a minute or two, then kick it up five clicks. Then do it again every minute. Before you know it, you're pouring sweat, your legs are burning like no other cardio exercise. You start to wheeze phlegm, and clear your throat. But you keep going up five more clicks, until you reach a point that you can barely keep up. Your body does one of those spastic jerks, ripping your headphones off, or flinging your iPod onto the floor. Then someone looks over at you, not to see if you are okay, but to tell you you're a wierdo with their eyes. But you already know. Total freak! You gather the Ipod, and settle yourself down to climb at the starting pace. Then repeat the process until your half hour is up. That's how it played out for me.
In case you missed the awesome part, here's the gist. When you think you are going to die, you're about to tap out on the red button, the clock rolls around to another minute complete, and the spirit comes alive under the stress, heat, and sweat. Your mind says accepts the challenge to push a little harder and and directs your sweaty little finger to press the up arrow again. You discover a little more juice than you thought you had.
When the machine stops, and the robotic congratulations appears on the screen, you wobble off to grab that sweaty towel and cheap gym sanitizer. You sop up your drippings from the machine. The bigger the puddle, the greater the pride in your work.
I love that thing. I hate it just as much. It's a beast that I love to conquor. But I never conquor it, I conquor myself, or the desire to quit rather. Small victory yes, but I have yet to pussyfoot through a cardio sesh on that contraption. I always find a little more than I think I have. And that is how we transform. One session at a time.