I heard someone say “It would be awesome to be the only one in your weight class and automatically win first place.” I said, “No it wouldn’t, it would be stupid!” There is no victory without a battle. If you beat the fat kid, how much can you appreciate the win? I’m not afraid of losing. I fear regret of not acting.
When George Hartley told me in January, that he and two other former Alaska state champs were competing for state title, he encouraged me to get in on it. My plan was not to compete and take the year to build muscle and work on widening my back and filling out my lanky arms and legs. I know where I need to grow. But I saw this as great opportunity to train and diet with more intensity. I liked the idea of trying to beat the big dogs.
The whole point of bodybuilding for me is to have a reason to push harder and reach new levels of growth. What better motivator could I ask for? Training to compete with champion bodybuilders I knew it required my A game. So I kicked my A in gear!
EVENING SHOW
When the night show begins, I'm buzzing with positive energy. I'mstrong and my muscles are becoming more full and round. My boys posing routines have me so jacked up, I'm not worrying one bit about the competition. I'm having a blast. Winning my weight class, intensifies my energy. I’m stoked for the opportunity to compete in the overall. A new experience.
Coming into this show, there were a few studs that might be tough to beat. After prejudging it narrowed. Jeff Bentz is a Superheavyweight but came in light at 218. He was shredded and he won his class but he didn't "peak". I won Josh in the middles. George was now the one to beat. He's been an NPC judge for a long time. He can spot those who will give him trouble. He says to me, "It's going to come down to you and me" And I agree. I want the title as much as I’ve wanted anything. But I'm not even worried about it. I intend to make it happen. I know that if there is any way for me to win this show, I will. I will give it my absolute best in the overall just as I had done up to this point.
Backstage, George was in bad shape. He had previously walked off stage in prejudging. He was exhausted and dangerously dehydrated. Just before we step out, George says to me, "I want this for you bro." It seemed to me that he was preparing himself to be a good sport. I think he thought it might go my way. This was a good moment. I was savoring it. I felt healthy and I was having fun. George just wanted it to be over.
We step out to the blinding lights and squeeze our legs with everything we have. The “front relaxed pose” is anything but relaxed! I can't see the crowd or judges. I am barely aware of my opponents. I'm laser focused on squeezing every piece of meat, bone and sinew that I own! "Quarter turn to the right. Quarter turn to the right," and so it goes. Without looking, I know they are posing and squeezing as hard as me. I squeeze until I shake. A spectator screams, "YOU GOTTA WANT IT!!! Nobody wants it more than me! Not even possible!
The pose down felt like battle. I've never been so intensely focused. I have no idea what poses my opponents are hitting. I’m locked into my own. George comes over and bumps into me. I forget we said we would make it fun for the crowd and mess around. I am only focused on hitting the pose on my mind
We are called back to the line and the MC calls for the crowd to cheer for their favorite. It’s clear that George is the hometown favorite. I don’t know if he brought half the crowd with him or what, but his support was the strongest.
Announcing the 2014 Overall Champ, I know it's me. There is almost no doubt in my mind. I came in better than George. Then rang the words throughout the stadium, "Your 2014 Alaska State Champion...............Geeeeeooorrgeee Hartley!"
I'm stunned. I shouldn't have been so surprised, but my mental strategy of absolute confidence, paired with absolute commitment to diet and training, left no room for doubt. I had undoubtedly done EVERYTHING I knew how to do.... But it didn't happen like I envisioned it. Now standing in front of 1000 people, it's suddenly George's moment. I had to re-adjust. George turns to me and gives me a big slimy brown hug. I slime him back. His hug is part celebration and part consolation. He knew how bad I wanted it. He had been here many times and felt the same thing. But he did it! And he was relieved.
Losing that overall was tough for me. It took a couple days to turn around the disappointment. Just trying to be happy for George didn't do it. The wind was out of my sails. I had no plans to stay in that state of mind. I wasn’t just being a sore loser. The only way I can explain it is, when you have such passion and intensity to achieve a goal, you think about it all the time. You put forth everything to bring it about, and when it doesn’t happen, that passionate goal doesn’t just fade away, it’s still there stronger than ever. You still want it just the same, but now you can’t have it. I guess it just confuses the emotions for a bit.
By Monday, I hadn’t even looked at photos from the show. Sunday was Easter and I tried my bestto focus on the resurrected Savior. I finally looked at photos with an open mind and chose to look at it in a constructive manner. How can I be better next time? I saw all the ways I could improve my physique and which poses didn’t work in my favor. I also looked at the muscle development George had going for him that brought him the win. His physique is more complete. I saw it, and I began to turn the corner.
I met George at the gym to train together. It was great to talk about it with each other. There is a lot of emotion and passion when a goal requires so much work. He told me it was bittersweet for him too. He said, “It’s easy when you beat someone who needs an attitude adjustment, but when it’s your brother, and he’s a warrior, it’s a little different.” Yes it is. And part of my internal struggle was that I would never want to take that away from him. He is my brother. He is a true champ and a great bodybuilder. The entire experience made me love him. It’s kind of like George was my friend and competitor before, but I see him differently now. Hard to explain, but I don’t need to. He gets it.
My personal lessons are too rich for my feeble attempt to write about it. My vision and resolve have expanded because of the experience. The disappointment is gone and I cherish it all for the growth. Best of all, my journey continues. If I had won, I might not take my physique to the level that it will now go. I'm going to work to complete this project of mine like a sculptor to match the vision I have for my body. I'll get there in incremental changes. But it will come to be. And in a couple years, I will get my shot again.
George and I are down here at the Emerald Cup. He introduced me as “The guy who just about kicked his ass.”
George I love you bro. Thanks for being the ultimate competitor. I know you said I was your motivation to push harder. Without a doubt, you did the same for me.
I’m sure glad I didn’t make it easy for you! You earned a glorious victory. Congratulations with all my heart brother! It's a pleasure doing battle with you. Lets do it again soon.
Posedown Battle - Chad Glauser, Jeff "THE BEAST" Bentz, George Hartley One of my favorite bodybuilding photos.
Great ab shots!
